Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Some tips from Aretha.

Yeah, another rant.

I've been tweeting yesterday about how I feel I'm being screwed by some indie devs. To be honest I don't think 140 characters is anywhere near enough to fully explain what I mean, and why devs like McMillen, Mojang, Gaslamp or Puppy won't see the color of my money anytime soon while I'm still unwaveringly supportive of others like David Olofson, Cube Noir, Gentleman Squid, Ido Yehieli, Nooskewl, Caravel, and many others.

See, I'm a customer. I have the monies and you want it. You have to create demand. I'm here to take advantage of the offer.

Doesn't work that way? Think. There's no rationale behind game development and sale. The demand is non-existent. I can live without games, so can you. I can live on freeware and FLOSS (and did for a looooong while). So can you.

And I'm not so obtuse or obsessed that I'll play one or two genres. I like to play Kobo Deluxe as much as The Dark Mod; DROD as much as Three Dead Zed; Botanicula as much as Project Zomboid; I could go on with examples forever (and I *do* mean forever - long enough that you'd flee long before I'm done).

Your game doesn't even have to truly stand out from the crowd. A game that's fun is a game I'll probably like. I'm still playing SuperTux to this day. Doesn't get much more cloney or bland than that. It's FUN. I'm not asking for much more. Which doesn't mean I'm going "meh" with every game, mind you.

So... Rather than just rant around trying to get Twitter to launch a word filter, I thought I might as well explain. See, devs have my trust from the start, as everyone. I'm that kind of guy. I'm also the kind of guy who'll usually smell fish very early, the kind of guy who gives his trust ONCE. You have one chance, why screw it?

So yeah, I'm the minority in the minority and all. Why should you care? Because I'm a dick, I'm vocal, and I always call things what they are: a cunt is a cunt, a pussy is a pussy, a dev who tries to piss on my leg is someone I'll go all out against. With arguments as much as fact, as often and as long as I can. And I can turn people away from you. You should know it if you've had any kind of marketing course: a satisfied customer will talk about your product to 3 people, one who isn't will talk about it to 10 people. And the people I usually hang around with like to be dicks too. We share many things, love of videogames and hate of cunts included.

First up: McMillen. Dear McMillen, screw you. Being able to turn the porting of a goddamn FLASH GAME into a MASSIVE failure must be the greatest kind of evidence of some kind of disability. I can't see any other reason why Isaac would be THAT shitty on linux: options that don't work, framerate issues, window resizing fucked up on most computers I have at my disposal to try (and I'm far from alone), you name it, and it's probably been failed.

Dear McMillen, porting is caring. If you don't care, just don't do it. I can live without, and I'll be much less bitter about it. Headcrabs never popped up on GNU/Linux desktops. They're, like, a thing that you'll only see on Steam nowadays. May be a moot point by the end of the year, but that's still ugly and proof that you didn't really care. Get Wrath of the Lamb out, and it'll be my pleasure to inform people about why they shouldn't buy it.

Then: Puppy Games: Dear sirs, with friends like you, no one needs enemies. If you aren't even able to treat your fellow devs with respect, you cannot be trusted to treat your customers with respect. Yep, I saw what you did and said on that Linux gaming forum on that particular day. And you know as well as I do that there had been an issue with Kot-In-Action and that they had been fucked big time by the indie bundle.

Oh. And by the way. I may have your game on Desura, but I'm still a customer. I still deserve updates. And I do NOT want your workarounds. I want it on Desura. Fact is, I want as many of my games as possible on Desura. Updates are YOUR fucking responsibility, not MINE. You know what? I actually own all KIA games right now. I didn't buy any of yours since the bundle. And I certainly don't intend to.

Then Mojang: Dear Notch. Rather than listen to hordes of rabid fanbois who don't have a clue about game development and include tons of things that don't even make sense when taken alone, much less when put together, in your games, next time, maybe you could... I don't know... Learn to fix bugs and have a plan you follow so your game doesn't end up being a massive mess?

Oh, and while I'm at it: Minecraft on Android for 7€? Who the fuck are you kidding? Why would I pay - and pay THAT MUCH - for a castrated clone with clumsy controls when I can either have phr00t's take on the genre at half that price or Football Manager Handheld for just one more coin?

Guess what? I hate European football. But I'd still go with Sega because I love management games. As much as I loved Minecraft before it became... Whatever ugly patchwork it is now. I gave up after you ALSO fucked up with the translations. Or maybe even before that. Doesn't really matter anymore: you lost my trust. I honestly don't think you can create consistent, rock-solid games. You may have great ideas, but a game is much more than the sum of its parts. Prove me wrong, and you may be one of the few to regain my trust. I wouldn't bet a nickel on it though.

Now Gaslamp: Guys. seriously. Do you really think I'm THAT stupid? I was so excited about Dredmor coming to Linux. Then I was even more excited when Realm of the Diggle Gods showed up on Desura. With release date "TBD". Even FOUR WHOLE MONTHS after it was out on Steam. A little file that doesn't contain any kind of DRM. Didn't need any kind of modification or further development. Perfectly compatible between all versions of your game, Steam and non-steam. Four months. So either you have some kind of disability, are complete dimwits who can't understand how to upload a zip file, or you really think I'm a complete dumbfuck. Though I'm starting to wonder, given apparently you don't tweet yourselves and have a bot that does so. Or why wouldn't you answer when a customer asks you - several times - if there's news for Desura?

Four months. FOUR FUCKING MONTHS. FOREVER, BASICALLY. Then when you finally move your arse and upload it, you try to shove it down my throat at a HIGHER price point than on Steam? Guess what: not only didn't I buy it. But I'm still ranting about it with anyone who lends me an ear. And that's a LOT of people. Some of which bought Dredmor. None of which bought RotDG. Nor will I buy any of your future games. And I know a few people who won't either.

See, I'm a Linux user. I'm a supportive Linux user. I'm a supportive Linux user who's an ex-Windows user. I'm an ex-Windows user who knows people, like most everyone. I'm an ex-Windows user who knows people who play games and buy games. And they don't care if I'm a Linux user. You treat me different, they don't. I have reason to be upset, they support that. And word can spread fast. And each and everyone of us isn't one lost sale. It' a whole fucking bunch of lost sales. If you're in a position to spit on money, good for you.

So... The point is: seriously, is respect too much to ask for? I know fully well that Linux will never be your main selling point. That it will never be what brings you the most money.


All these examples show a complete lack of respect for your customer. It's actually pretty close to segregation, apart from Mojang. And I despise that as much as I despise the endless stream of pseudo-games the AAA studios are used to developing at the moment.

But respect, unfortunately for you, is universal. And salesmen who don't respect the customer always get some kind of kick in the balls. This here, is mine. And I'll keep doing it every time someone tries to screw me. As long as I can. And I'll try to support every other indie dev I can. As long as I can.


  1. Jesus Christ, if you actually tried developing a game for MAC OS, Windows (including XP compatibility) and linux you would be saying any of this fucking drivel. Don't get me wrong, cool icons and i did DL some, but seriously, you are not even remotely close to universe of power you think you have. Get off your fucking high horse and try it. Make something, with the help of others that you need to depend on, and make it where it works on the above mentioned systems. Just try, or even look into the possibility. You know whats gonna happen once you even really consider trying? You'll see it's way more that you fucking realized and you'll find yourself WAY OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE!

    Since you are clearly a very experienced developer, I'll run through some basics with you. First lesson, getting back to that marketing degree you have, is that you cannot and will not please everyone. Get over it now because it will never happen. If you knew a single fucking thing about this topic you'd have shut the fuck up at "Yeah,".

    Either do something to ix the problems you see around you or shut the fuck up.

  2. Jesus Christ, if you actually read the post you wouldn't be saying any of this fucking drivel.
    Is that the sound of butthurt? You feeling like I'm talking about you? You actually someone on the list? Maybe you'd like me to update it?

    I'm not a dev, as you oh so accurately point out from YOUR high horse. Not let me enlighten you. I'm the guy who pays for your game. The guy who feeds you. The guy who's interested by whatever you have created. Still, if you're selling it to me and say you support my OS... I'm expecting you to do it. Is that out of YOUR league? Too bad. Better go back to supporting one (1) platform.

    It doesn't take a degree in marketing, but it takes common sense.

    FWIW - I *DO* something to fix the problems I see. I file bug reports when necessary (that would be mmh... when there aren't 200 people complaining about it, which tells us something about the level of support given by some devs in the list up there. Want a hint? The Binding of Isaac. What? I shouldn't call name? Sue me). And I *HAVE* helped a dev or two find the solution as best I could. Sometimes it's even worked (e.g. Bean's quest and special characters in the username). I'm not here to code, that is YOUR job (if it isn't then you clearly an idiot). *I* am here to buy. If something's wrong with YOUR build, it's YOUR job to fix it, not mine.

    Would you be so kind as to explain me why asking people who say they support my OS to actually DO IT is drivel. C'mon, I'm all ears. Then i'll ask you "right, so say 2000 people have the same problem on Windows and you're not going to do anything about it. What do you think will happen?"

    You may want to think for oh say... two seconds before going down the "do it yourself" road, buddy.
    A. It doesn't take a degree in marketing.
    B. It does take a degree in common sense apparently.
    C. "Anonymous". What, afraid that I may ACTUALLY update the list? Got problems with your linux builds? :)
    D. If you don't like and/or want to hear customers complain, even when they have reasons to do so others than "I don't like the music in your game so it sucks", you better change to something that better suits you. Like hermit.

    1. (oh, and forgive me if anything doesn't make sense in that answer, I wouldn't be surprised, I didn't have anywhere near enough sleep last night)